


HGTV Dorothea

by tansybells



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Domestic Fluff, F/F, House Hunting, Magical Realism, lol im not sure how to tag this w/o spoiling everything, magical creature au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23074324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells
Summary: Or: Fire Emblem: Three House HuntersHilda and Marianne search for a new home in which to begin their lives together. But while their wildly different needs present a problem for their friend and realtor Dorothea, this time she’s pretty certain that she may have found the perfect house for them.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault & Hilda Valentine Goneril, Dorothea Arnault & Marianne von Edmund, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	HGTV Dorothea

**Author's Note:**

> 100% inspired by [this tumblr post](https://tansybells.tumblr.com/post/612070592388136960/khe1-khe1-i-am-a-sexy-vampire-but-my-wife-is) lol

“Okay, I know what you’re going to say, but this time, it’s the truth. You are  _ not  _ going to regret checking out this house!”

Hilda groaned, slumping against Marianne’s deceptively slim arm as their realtor rambled on. Marianne, bless her soul, reached over and patted her head gently.

“I’m sure it won’t be as bad as last time,” she reassured Hilda, gently kissing the top of her head. “Dorothea’s been quite good at finding houses that could work for us.”

“Maybe so,” Hilda muttered under her breath. She could, however, not resist the urge to add, “I just wish we could have, like, found someone  _ besides  _ her to do the looking for us.”

Dorothea froze in front of them, the key settled into the lock just before the turn. Hilda rolled her eyes while Marianne sighed and reached out to set her hand on Dorothea’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry about Hilda,” she said, glancing between Dorothea’s tight smile and Hilda’s wrinkled nose. “It’s… still quite early in the evening, and she can be a little irritable when – when she is woken up so early after such a late morning.”

It was to Dorothea’s credit, Hilda supposed, that she was able to wipe away her frustration and instead face Marianne with the smile of a true professional. It was  _ not,  _ however, to her credit that their realtor seemed to so easily commiserate with her fiancée, a resentful feeling that only grew as Dorothea waved away Marianne’s apology.

“It’s perfectly understandable,” Dorothea said as she briefly turned that infuriatingly bright smile onto Hilda. “But I explained your situation to the owners of the house, and while they were perfectly fine with letting you come for a showing, they  _ were  _ somewhat averse to the idea of shelling out the money for a hotel for the night. So, we compromised like adults.”

Marianne’s furtive look her way was the only thing that prevented Hilda’s scowl from deepening. That being said, there was no force on earth powerful enough to stop her from lashing out with a dismissive, “Too bad you couldn’t figure out how to compromise before we went to that last house.”

After the soft jab of Marianne’s elbow into her ribs, Hilda protested. “What! The owners were still there, Mari! You  _ can’t  _ have enjoyed them following us around the whole time. They didn’t even say anything! They just followed us, not saying a word, and  _ stared _ !”

“In my defense.” The lock clicked as Dorothea finally turned the key. “They did agree to leave when I first contacted them, but I don’t think they were actually prepared for someone like you to show up at their door,” she said, pushing the door open. 

“You mean you didn’t –“

“ _ No,  _ Hilda. People are usually okay with the idea of you, but actually having you showing up at their door and expecting to be let in is something entirely different.”

“Not my fault,” Hilda scoffed. “And it’s not like I  _ like  _ having to ask permission to go into houses. Speaking of –?”

Dorothea nodded, backing up against the door to push it open further. Marianne walked on in. Hilda, however, crossed her arms over her chest and stood in place, tapping her foot until Dorothea relented and said, “Why don’t you come on in?”

A sardonic smile was all Hilda needed to show Dorothea her absolute  _ joy  _ at being treated so kindly. Her realtor simpered in response as she walked in and the door was closed behind them.

“So as you’ll see,” Dorothea began, the ‘friendly’ banter that had gone on between them dying down in favor of a more formal realtor persona, “All of the doors and entryways are much larger than the standard. I think that would be a great benefit for the two of you, particularly when that time of the month rolls around.”

Marianne froze in the middle of her next step forward and made furtive eye contact with Hilda, who simply shrugged and reached out to hold her hand.

“It  _ would  _ work pretty well,” Hilda agreed as she looked up to one of the aforementioned entryways. Rounded at the top and wide enough to fit two of their largest friends standing side-by-side, she had no doubt that such a unique architectural feature would definitely improve their quality of life.

“You’re right.” Marianne smiled back down at her and squeezed her hand before looking to Dorothea’s expectant – if not somewhat put-out by their incessant need to show affection – expression. “It’s… not something I’d ever thought of, but I  _ have _ been stuck outside in the past. Thank you, Dorothea, for your consideration.”

Even Hilda had to give Dorothea props for that clever insight into their situation, but they  _ were  _ on a time crunch.

“What about the kitchen?” she prompted, dropping Marianne’s hand and taking the initiative to walk towards the nearest room. Dorothea trailed along with Marianne close behind.

“Okay so, the kitchen’s mostly pretty run-of-the-mill. It’s got a decent stovetop, space for a nice large fridge – oh, but the floor isn’t hardwood, but a laminate wood flooring. Bonus!”

“Bonus?” Hilda asked, hands on her hips as she surveyed the decently sized room. “Isn’t hardwood like, what everyone wants in their house?”

“Yes, and no.” Dorothea shrugged. “People like the idea of hardwood, but it gets scratched up easily if you can’t take good care of it. Laminate takes a lot less maintenance and it’s  _ so _ much easier to clean.”

Hilda pressed her lips together and nodded in understanding. Easy was good. She liked easy, especially if it had the added benefit of not  _ looking  _ easy.

“I’m a little worried about the carpet in the living room.” Marianne piped up as she walked around the kitchen area and inspected the cabinets and drawers. “Sorry, I know we aren’t there yet, but –”

“We can be a little messy,” Hilda interjected. “So carpet’s like, kinda a total no-go.” She shot a flirtatious wink Marianne’s way, serving to darken Marianne’s near-constant blush.

Dorothea rolled her eyes and pressed the back of her hand against her forehead. “Come on guys, you’re ruining my surprises for later. Yes, there’s carpet, but they’re squares.”

“What does that mean?” Marianne peered out over the breakfast bar and into the living room, her brows furrowed together in confusion. “It doesn’t  _ look  _ like squares…”

“That’s the beauty of it!” Dorothea chuckled. “It looks like one piece of carpet across the room, but if you spill something or drag something across the floor – well, you just peel up that one piece of carpet, chuck it, and replace it with one of the clean squares stored in the garage.”

“Huh.” Hilda found herself impressed yet again, much to her surprise. “Whaddya know, Dorothea, you might actually be good at your job!”

Marianne lightly hit Hilda’s arm as Dorothea rolled her eyes, but there was no true exasperation or malice in either action.

“If I were any less of a realtor, drop you guys from my client list at the first sign of backtalk. Lucky for you, I like Marianne too much to leave you stranded and helpless or worse – in the hands of Gloucester!”

“No, please, anything but that!”

“He’s not  _ that  _ bad, Hilda…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just don’t tell him that, or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Anyway!” Dorothea clapped her hands together. “Shall we move on? There’s a few more things here and there that I think you’ll really appreciate.”

Sulking now, Hilda spread herself out on the living room couch, burying her face into a throw pillow. “I’m like,  _ really  _ tired, Dorothea. How about you just tell me everything else about the house that you think is cool, and we just decide about it from there.”

“Hilda…” Marianne sat down beside her and set her hand on her back as if to comfort her. “I know you’re tired, but getting a house is… a pretty big deal. We may like it so far, but we should see the rest of it so we can make the right choice.”

Hilda groaned. She was used to being the one to raise the spirits of a pessimistic partner, so it was a definite change of pace for Marianne to be the consoling one.

“We have money,” Hilda protested. “Between our inheritances and my work, we have a  _ lot  _ of money. We could easily just buy another house if we don’t like this one after all.”

“It’s not about whether we can buy a house or not.” Marianne’s voice was soft and gentle. Listening to her was like being wrapped up in a blanket made of marshmallows. “It’s about sharing this experience with you and about the beginning of our lives together.”

Hilda rolled onto her back and gazed up at her fiancée’s loving expression as she continued.

“If you really don’t feel so well, I’m sure Dorothea would let us reschedule. But this house… I have a really good feeling about this house.” Marianne reached a hand out over Hilda’s chest, and Hilda immediately grasped it in her own hand. “I don’t want to do this without you, Hilda. We promised to do things together, remember?”

Hilda was quiet for a minute, and just squeezed Marianne’s hand against her chest while she thought. Marianne was right, of course; the important thing about getting a house together was their commitment to doing it together. It was just that the idea of slowing down and  _ not  _ doing something – for a minute, at least – was too appealing to let go.

“Marianne,” she finally said, “What the hell would I do without you?”

With a smile, Marianne leaned down and softly kissed Hilda’s forehead. The resulting warmth that spread throughout her body brought a smile to Hilda’s face.

From the side, entirely forgotten up to that point, Dorothea cleared her throat.

“Well, if you guys are ready to move on, then I’ve got some more things that I think would interest you.” Hilda sat up so she could watch Dorothea’s attempt to move on from her mini meltdown. “Like wine fridges! The current owners are ridiculously into wine.”

“Is there one in the bedroom?” Hilda asked as she raised a brow, suddenly interested. “Damn, Mari, I could have breakfast in bed! Like, every day!”

“As long as you don’t spill it on the sheets…”

* * *

Dorothea waved the happy couple off as they got into their car and drove away, then turned to lock the front door of the house they’d finally finished inspecting.

All in all, she thought it had been a pretty successful showing. Few houses were made with supernatural couples in mind; even rarer were the ones that could suit  _ interspecies  _ supernatural couples. Even so, she’d taken the challenge of finding a house that a vampire and a werewolf could live in together head-on, and her efforts had resulted in the two fiancées enthusiastically talking about the prospect of putting in an offer as they left.

A shudder ran over Dorothea as she took off her realtors’ jacket and let her iridescent pixies’ wings unfurl. It was nice to see that all of her hard work was paying off, but at the end of the day she wanted nothing more than to fly home and soak her feet in a salt bath.

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes you just want to write a silly little thing chock-full of supernatural domesticity amirite?
> 
> as always, my eternal thanks to [fox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxVII/pseuds/FoxVII) for her constant enabling
> 
> i can also be found at my [tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com) !~
> 
> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed ❤


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